Little C and Ga!
22 March 2011
03 March 2011
22 February 2011
172
Jack-isms
"Hey Mom! You know, Caroline is almost like having a pet. And since Dad won't let me get a pet, this is pretty cool."
So Wheel of Fortune came on and Jack groaned.
"I hate this show! Let's see what was on Oprah today."
"Hey Mom! You know, Caroline is almost like having a pet. And since Dad won't let me get a pet, this is pretty cool."
So Wheel of Fortune came on and Jack groaned.
"I hate this show! Let's see what was on Oprah today."
13 December 2010
171
So Jack learned about fire safety at school last week. I didn't think much about it at the time. I still remember "stop, drop and roll."
Jack and I were discussing what he'd learned and he went ahead and showed me the proper technique. Together we picked a meeting point as to where to go in the case of a fire. (Street light, across the street.)
And then he announced he would not leave the house until he knew we were all out and safe. I gently told him that his job would be to get himself out. That's it. And he grew more determined ... he said his job is make sure his whole family is safe. He began offering different scenarios where he would have to help us get the babies out. What if Daddy is out of town? What if Brennan is being unreasonable? What if Mama fell? Again, I told him his job was to get himself out. Period. I told him Dad and I would take care of the rest.
And without a beat he told me he would never leave anyone inside. He couldn't do it.
"Mama, I couldn't live knowing I hadn't helped my family. I won't leave until everyone is out. That's just it."
And I am sure he's telling the truth.
Jack and I were discussing what he'd learned and he went ahead and showed me the proper technique. Together we picked a meeting point as to where to go in the case of a fire. (Street light, across the street.)
And then he announced he would not leave the house until he knew we were all out and safe. I gently told him that his job would be to get himself out. That's it. And he grew more determined ... he said his job is make sure his whole family is safe. He began offering different scenarios where he would have to help us get the babies out. What if Daddy is out of town? What if Brennan is being unreasonable? What if Mama fell? Again, I told him his job was to get himself out. Period. I told him Dad and I would take care of the rest.
And without a beat he told me he would never leave anyone inside. He couldn't do it.
"Mama, I couldn't live knowing I hadn't helped my family. I won't leave until everyone is out. That's just it."
And I am sure he's telling the truth.
24 November 2010
170
We're a day away from Thanksgiving. Joe is in Maui, Ma is here taking care of the kids so I can focus on my transition back to work. This weekend the Chicago Matvias clan, the Cinci Furst family and cousin Emer from Ireland will all be here. Should be fun.
Caroline continues to be an amazing baby. She's smiley and happy and perhaps the most even tempered person I have ever met. I pray she continues with this -- for her own sake.
Brennan had his first parent-teacher conferences and it comes to no surprise that his teacher thinks "he's the funniest kid she's ever met." Because, well, he is hilarious. He's also friends with everyone and not afraid to play on his own.
Jack is suddenly 12 years old. We recently got Christmas card pictures taken and I did a double-take when I saw him in the shots.
...
We drove by Sparrow the other night after participating in the city parade. Brennan called out when he recognized the building. And then he asked ... "When are we going to pick up Lauren and Dylan?"
Caroline continues to be an amazing baby. She's smiley and happy and perhaps the most even tempered person I have ever met. I pray she continues with this -- for her own sake.
Brennan had his first parent-teacher conferences and it comes to no surprise that his teacher thinks "he's the funniest kid she's ever met." Because, well, he is hilarious. He's also friends with everyone and not afraid to play on his own.
Jack is suddenly 12 years old. We recently got Christmas card pictures taken and I did a double-take when I saw him in the shots.
...
We drove by Sparrow the other night after participating in the city parade. Brennan called out when he recognized the building. And then he asked ... "When are we going to pick up Lauren and Dylan?"
03 November 2010
169
Ever since Brennan has eaten real food, Jack has been more inclined to even try. We told Jack when he was four that at age five we would no longer make a special dinner for him. He had about six months to gear up for "adult food" ... and for the most part, he's been really good about it. The rule is you have to try it. You can hate it but not until you taste it. Sometimes it takes him an hour to try something and then usually the item is disgusting.
Brennan on the other hand is our little vulture. It's not that he's piggish, he just wants to eat/try whatever is on anyone else's plate. He's been known to eat an entire meal that belonged to someone else! It's gotten so that we've ordered food, pretended it was someone else's just so he'd be more interested in eating it.
And like with most kids, B-Boy has his favorite foods. But unlike most kids his are olives, pickles and cottage cheese. Today at the grocery store I enticed him to get in the cart with the promise of buying cottage cheese. Swear.
Joe and I took B and Little C to lunch today to meet our friend Ang who was in town from LA. We went to Bravo. And while it's not really a fancy place, it's not particularly kid-friendly either. But when we saw they had a kids pizza and olives were an option we knew we were golden. And that kid gobbled down half of that 10 inch pie. And made us promise he could have the other half for dinner.
Tonight Joe made grilled cheese. His beloved sandwiches are favorites of the boys so I wasn't sure if B would still want pizza. But one glance at the healthy portion of black olives and he was sold. The boys sat at the table each munching on favorites when I heard Brennan say ...
"Jack, you should try an olive."
"I don't like olives,'' he said, scrunching up his face.
"But you don't even know! Just try it. They are delicious. Just try one." As he was talking to his older brother he was holding a tiny black olive in the air. I could see Jack considering. But I kept quiet to see if his brother was able to convince him.
"Olives are the best! Daddy and I love olives -- and pickles. You should try it."
After a short time, Jack agreed. And with a crunched up face he timidly dropped it on his tongue.
"See Jackie! See! Olives are delicious! Do you like it?" he asked excitedly.
"Actually,'' Mr. Serious replied, "They are kind of good. I do like olives!"
We all cheered with delight at Jack for trying something new.
"Do you want another?'' B asked as he ripped an olive off his pizza.
"Nope, one was enough. Thanks.''
Brennan on the other hand is our little vulture. It's not that he's piggish, he just wants to eat/try whatever is on anyone else's plate. He's been known to eat an entire meal that belonged to someone else! It's gotten so that we've ordered food, pretended it was someone else's just so he'd be more interested in eating it.
And like with most kids, B-Boy has his favorite foods. But unlike most kids his are olives, pickles and cottage cheese. Today at the grocery store I enticed him to get in the cart with the promise of buying cottage cheese. Swear.
Joe and I took B and Little C to lunch today to meet our friend Ang who was in town from LA. We went to Bravo. And while it's not really a fancy place, it's not particularly kid-friendly either. But when we saw they had a kids pizza and olives were an option we knew we were golden. And that kid gobbled down half of that 10 inch pie. And made us promise he could have the other half for dinner.
Tonight Joe made grilled cheese. His beloved sandwiches are favorites of the boys so I wasn't sure if B would still want pizza. But one glance at the healthy portion of black olives and he was sold. The boys sat at the table each munching on favorites when I heard Brennan say ...
"Jack, you should try an olive."
"I don't like olives,'' he said, scrunching up his face.
"But you don't even know! Just try it. They are delicious. Just try one." As he was talking to his older brother he was holding a tiny black olive in the air. I could see Jack considering. But I kept quiet to see if his brother was able to convince him.
"Olives are the best! Daddy and I love olives -- and pickles. You should try it."
After a short time, Jack agreed. And with a crunched up face he timidly dropped it on his tongue.
"See Jackie! See! Olives are delicious! Do you like it?" he asked excitedly.
"Actually,'' Mr. Serious replied, "They are kind of good. I do like olives!"
We all cheered with delight at Jack for trying something new.
"Do you want another?'' B asked as he ripped an olive off his pizza.
"Nope, one was enough. Thanks.''
31 October 2010
167
We had some sad news this week. Joe's beloved Grandpa (O.G.) passed away. He'd be fighting cancer for quite a while and after a fall, it was just his time. Obviously, we are all sad and will miss him.
Joe called me with the news while Jack and I were at the zoo. We decided then we'd tell him together after dinner.
I wasn't really sure how he would react. O.G. is the first person in his life to pass away. Joe came to dinner with red eyes and the boys noticed immediately. When he took Brennan for a mid-dinner potty break, Jack asked me what was wrong. I told him to ask his Dad. And when Joe told him, Jack leaned back in his chair and was quiet for a minute.
Then he said ...
"Well, the good news is he isn't really dead. His soul has gone to heaven where he will live forever. We're lucky because we're the only animals that have souls. So that means we'll see him again someday when we're old and go to heaven."
He is six.
Joe took a call a few minutes later. Jack turned to me and said ...
"You know, Mom. We're actually pretty lucky because now O.G. will be looking out for us -- like a guardian angel."
I told him he should tell Daddy that.
And then he hugged Joe for a good long time.
Joe called me with the news while Jack and I were at the zoo. We decided then we'd tell him together after dinner.
I wasn't really sure how he would react. O.G. is the first person in his life to pass away. Joe came to dinner with red eyes and the boys noticed immediately. When he took Brennan for a mid-dinner potty break, Jack asked me what was wrong. I told him to ask his Dad. And when Joe told him, Jack leaned back in his chair and was quiet for a minute.
Then he said ...
"Well, the good news is he isn't really dead. His soul has gone to heaven where he will live forever. We're lucky because we're the only animals that have souls. So that means we'll see him again someday when we're old and go to heaven."
He is six.
Joe took a call a few minutes later. Jack turned to me and said ...
"You know, Mom. We're actually pretty lucky because now O.G. will be looking out for us -- like a guardian angel."
I told him he should tell Daddy that.
And then he hugged Joe for a good long time.
10 October 2010
166
Caroline is 7 weeks now.
She continues to be a fantastic baby. Good spirits, cuddley and these days smiling and even offering a giggle or two.
Today we had Jack's flag football and in a freak turn of events it was in the 80s. He did well. Though he continues to be hestitant to catch the ball (following a ball to the face/bloody nose last week) he ran for a touchdown and tackled a kid. He;s showing some interest but I think he just likes being on a team and running around.
Brennan is dying to be old enough for sports. He sits on the sideline with the team and follows the game more closely than his big brother.
Yesterday I took the kids to Ga and Ma's for the day to play with Freddie. Because of the flukey weather, they were even able to swim. Of course Dad had the pool warm and ready to go. So much so that when Brennan stepped in he said:
"What in the world? Is this a hot tub?!"
Later in the day, Jack pulled me aside and speaking out the side of his mouth said ... "Mom! Why do they have pictures of naked women?! It's very inappropriate!" Of course I just laughed. I mean, how do you talk modern art with a 6 year old? I'll leave that one to Ma.
5 more weeks to go on my leave. We've hired a nanny who we're excited about. Cross fingers it works out.
She continues to be a fantastic baby. Good spirits, cuddley and these days smiling and even offering a giggle or two.
Today we had Jack's flag football and in a freak turn of events it was in the 80s. He did well. Though he continues to be hestitant to catch the ball (following a ball to the face/bloody nose last week) he ran for a touchdown and tackled a kid. He;s showing some interest but I think he just likes being on a team and running around.
Brennan is dying to be old enough for sports. He sits on the sideline with the team and follows the game more closely than his big brother.
Yesterday I took the kids to Ga and Ma's for the day to play with Freddie. Because of the flukey weather, they were even able to swim. Of course Dad had the pool warm and ready to go. So much so that when Brennan stepped in he said:
"What in the world? Is this a hot tub?!"
Later in the day, Jack pulled me aside and speaking out the side of his mouth said ... "Mom! Why do they have pictures of naked women?! It's very inappropriate!" Of course I just laughed. I mean, how do you talk modern art with a 6 year old? I'll leave that one to Ma.
5 more weeks to go on my leave. We've hired a nanny who we're excited about. Cross fingers it works out.
26 September 2010
165
Joe suggested I name the blog "Tres bien" ... it's a strong possibility -- a nice play on words.
We're heading into week 6 with Caroline and things couldn't be better with her. She's cuddly and happy and rarely cries -- unless justified. She's been sleeping pretty consistently through the night with the best night so far being from 12 to 7:30 A.M.
I knew I would enjoy being home during this time because I could spend time with Caroline. But I didn't factor in all the great time I am spending with the boys. Brennan and I are actually having one-on-one time with Baby C sleeps and everyday we walk up to school to get Jack.
Brennan is loving preschool though he was a little sketchy the first week or so. Now he talks about his classmates who haven't adjusted yet and just shakes his head. Today was supposed to kick off his Sunday school experience to everyone's great disappointment, it was canceled because his classroom was flooded. His class is during mass so he made sure to let us know (over and over) he wasn't pleased.
Jack is busy in first grade and the increased school work -- and drama. He's decided his kindergarten girlfriend isn't the one anymore and has moved on to a little girl named Angie (who we haven't met yet.) Last week, Jack decided he needed to let Helen know so he could build his relationship with Angie with zero ties. His reenactment of his conversation with her had Joe and I rolling.
He decided to tell her he'd found someone else one day after school on the playground. According to Jackie, she immedialty demanded to know who it was ... and when Jack said "Angie" she was quick to tell him what she thought of her.
"Mom! She told me she didn't like Angie. She said 'Anyone but Angie!,''' he told us. "But the thing is, she doesn't even know Angie! Girls are crazy -- but especially Helen!"
We're heading into week 6 with Caroline and things couldn't be better with her. She's cuddly and happy and rarely cries -- unless justified. She's been sleeping pretty consistently through the night with the best night so far being from 12 to 7:30 A.M.
I knew I would enjoy being home during this time because I could spend time with Caroline. But I didn't factor in all the great time I am spending with the boys. Brennan and I are actually having one-on-one time with Baby C sleeps and everyday we walk up to school to get Jack.
Brennan is loving preschool though he was a little sketchy the first week or so. Now he talks about his classmates who haven't adjusted yet and just shakes his head. Today was supposed to kick off his Sunday school experience to everyone's great disappointment, it was canceled because his classroom was flooded. His class is during mass so he made sure to let us know (over and over) he wasn't pleased.
Jack is busy in first grade and the increased school work -- and drama. He's decided his kindergarten girlfriend isn't the one anymore and has moved on to a little girl named Angie (who we haven't met yet.) Last week, Jack decided he needed to let Helen know so he could build his relationship with Angie with zero ties. His reenactment of his conversation with her had Joe and I rolling.
He decided to tell her he'd found someone else one day after school on the playground. According to Jackie, she immedialty demanded to know who it was ... and when Jack said "Angie" she was quick to tell him what she thought of her.
"Mom! She told me she didn't like Angie. She said 'Anyone but Angie!,''' he told us. "But the thing is, she doesn't even know Angie! Girls are crazy -- but especially Helen!"
22 September 2010
164
So I am playing with name possibilities ... right now, Three's company seems appropriate.
Things are going well. After a month, we are all adjusting well. Baby C is currently sleeping in her Pack-n-Play and Brennan is watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Jack is at big boy first grade and Joe is at the radio station. All is well with the world.
I will post some pictures now and write something up later.
She sleeps. :)
The boys meet their sister with Ga. Brennan's face is priceless!
Dr. Guerin moments after her arrival. She is is the best. And yes, my blackberry is in my hand.
Daddy and his girl.
It's official!
Things are going well. After a month, we are all adjusting well. Baby C is currently sleeping in her Pack-n-Play and Brennan is watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Jack is at big boy first grade and Joe is at the radio station. All is well with the world.
I will post some pictures now and write something up later.
She sleeps. :)
The boys meet their sister with Ga. Brennan's face is priceless!
Dr. Guerin moments after her arrival. She is is the best. And yes, my blackberry is in my hand.
Daddy and his girl.
It's official!
28 August 2010
163
So our girl has arrived!
Caroline Elizabeth Rexrode
Aug. 19, 2010
8:44 a.m.
9 lbs., 8 oz.; 21.25 inches
Joe and I went into the hospital the night of the 18th and our girl arrived the next morning. She came out facing the wrong way ... but luckily the delivery was otherwise uneventful.
The boys have done well with their baby sis. Jack is super excited and wants to hold/carry her whenever possible. Brennan wasn't sure at first and was a little clingy but has morphed into a great big brother who is very concerned about Baby Caroline's "boo-boo tummy."
She's lying here next to me in her Boppy snoozing her last feeding away. She did lose a bit more weight than the doctors wanted but after an appointment Friday we've learned she's back up 4 oz. It's crazy how 4 little ozs can make your day. Unfortunately they think they heard a heart murmur but we're trying not to freak about it. Her next appointment is Thursday to double check.
The boys are in T town this weekend enjoying Ga and Ma for one more summer weekend before school. I am not sure where this summer went ... Brennan heads to preschool this Tuesday and Jack goes into 1st grade the Tuesday after Labor Day.
My boys are growing up.
But (as Jack likes to remind me) now I have Caroline to be with me when he and Brennan head off to college. We try to let him know he has some time before college but he says he just wants us to be prepared someday he will leave. I guess I have 12 years to worry about that.
Caroline is on a pretty tight 3-hour schedule for feeding so that keeps Joe and I on our toes. Breastfeeding is going really well (surprisingly) though we have to supplement with a bottle.
She's been a fantastic baby so far only crying when she's hungry ... and when she has a stinky diaper. Girl doesn't like to be dirty ... which is a funny since her brothers never really let it bother them. I just love babies so much -- especially my own. I am trying to soak up this time now because I know when my leave is up, I am going to be sad to go back to work. And besides, I figure I only have a select amount of time with her before she starts to show her independence and love Daddy best.
We've been asked ... is it different this time because she's a girl?
Yes and no.
No ... because like with my boys, all I care is she's healthy, happy and thriving. I examine her like I examined B and Jack from head to toe. And everyday I catch myself imagining the person she's destined to become.
Yes ... because I watched her Daddy melt to the ground when she arrived. He was more than thrilled when each of his sons were born but this time was a bit different for him when Caroline was placed on my belly. They say there's something special about a girl and her dad and I was lucky enough to witness the precise moment they fell in love.
No ... because she smells just like her brothers, she makes the same cooing noises and she's just as cuddly in the middle of the night when I know I should put her back to bed but I can't resist one more squeeze.
Yes ... because her clothes are amazing! I can't get enough pink and feminine frillies. I went from a boy-mom to an insta-girl mom and I am surprisingly loving it. I honestly didn't care if I had a boy or girl this time round but now that she's here, I plan to eat it up.
No ... because I am amazed at how lucky I am each time I pick her up -- just like I am amazed each time the boys make me laugh or support each other. Having a baby is like playing Russian roulette. So many things have to fall into place to produce a perfect being. And my brood are all perfect, gorgeous, smart little people.
We are so lucky.
10 August 2010
162
So, the nursery is done! Thanks to my dad for painting all the wicker and then carrying everything up and hanging the blinds and curtain. Thanks to my mom for helping me put the crib together. Thanks to Joe for helping me hang the pictures even though he had other work to do! Now all I need is the letter for her first name to hang above her crib ... oh, and a first name!
New crib (same as Molly's), bedding from the Gap and my dollhouse Grampa made for my first communion.
The dressing table from my cousin Catherine all jazzed up with pink stuff, pictures from Marshalls and ... of course the doll house again. At first I was a little scared when the walls were done (sooooo pink) but with everything in place, looks great!
Two wall hangings from my nursery in San Antonio. Mom got these in Mexico. It's my touch of Texas! And actually the right colors!
Thanks to my girlfriend who was able to pull the ladybug out of the bedding and make pictures for me that match! Rocker is Joe's great-grandmother's wedding gift (100+ years old) and my Pier 1 wicker furniture. It really came together!
New crib (same as Molly's), bedding from the Gap and my dollhouse Grampa made for my first communion.
The dressing table from my cousin Catherine all jazzed up with pink stuff, pictures from Marshalls and ... of course the doll house again. At first I was a little scared when the walls were done (sooooo pink) but with everything in place, looks great!
Two wall hangings from my nursery in San Antonio. Mom got these in Mexico. It's my touch of Texas! And actually the right colors!
Thanks to my girlfriend who was able to pull the ladybug out of the bedding and make pictures for me that match! Rocker is Joe's great-grandmother's wedding gift (100+ years old) and my Pier 1 wicker furniture. It really came together!
02 August 2010
161
Big Boy Jack is 6 years old and I don't really know where the time has gone.
I went back and pulled all his birthday blogs for the last six years.
Year 1
Year 2, birthday 1, birthday 2,
Year 3
Year 4
Year 5
This year we had a friend party at Patriarche Park Batman-style and then a family party at Ga and Ma's house ... here are all the Cleary cousins (minus Freddie and Henry).
Not one had all of them smiling or looking at the camera ...
Michael, Molly, Anna, Brennan, Joe, Jack and Doug
20 July 2010
160
Tee Ball season is in full gear and Jack is taking this season very seriously. He fields hard, runs fast and loves to hit the ball.
And unlike last year, Brennan loves to sit and watch. Note how he puts his drink in the cup holder, lounges back and snacks on his fishies. He's very excited for next year when he too will be on a team.
The boys are doing well this summer. We're a little more than a week from Jack turning 6 which blows my mind. We're planning a party at a park with friends and then a weekend at Ga and Ma's house with the entire family coming in. He's very pleased to continue the two-party tradition.
Yesterday we hit the one month date until the arrival of my girl. Luckily, this weekend we got her furniture (white wicker Pier 1) and even got a little (little) bit closer to being organized for her big day.
Brennan is doing really well with his potty-training and despite being plagued with constipation and being medicated, he still likes to try and will take his diaper off to go potty. Hopefully we'll get him back on track to being regular and he can go back to the the joys of Buzz Lightyear underwear.
15 July 2010
159
So Stina is trying to decide whether she should go back to work or stay home with Molly. Obviously finances and Molly's well-being debated and like any mom facing this question, she doesn't know what to do.
So, Stina decided to post the question on facebook. It brought 13 comments (two from me) and sparked an interesting conversation.
It's pretty important subject for women my age and when I read some of the comments I couldn't help myself but say how I feel (big surprise). Apparently I scared off some though because the comments end after mine! Hopefully someday my kids will read this and understand where I was coming from.
Facebook:
Kristina Matvias Furst Working mom or stay-at-home mom? What am I to do/be?
Lauren Ann Victor Isn't being a stay-at-home mom hard work?? :)
Anne Timmers stay at home for sure!!
Katie Matvias Rexrode The good news is whatever you decide you can always change your mind.
Philip Denton Stay at home!
Ryan Buccafurri Part time is the best of both worlds
Kristina Matvias Furst Hm... part time isn't an option, at least not one that is on the table at this moment in time. The offer on the table is at least 50 hours a week and travel and I have no family nearby to help out. However, as Lauren said, being a stay-at-home mom is a lot of work, too - it is a full time job for sure, you just get paid in baby smiles, giggles and hugs (and spit up) not $$.
Jennifer Rose Sutphen I was in a situation similare to yours and stay at home was a much better decision for our family. If u have any questions, give me a call.
Rebecca Abramson Wow...tough decision. Let us know what you decide!
Brighid Horn Matvias Call me if you need to talk about it!
Tricia Craner Villamil Sounds like stay at home if it works out financially for you.
Katie Matvias Rexrode You don't know the # of hours or the travel. You are assuming based on what one person told you. You should ask.
Terry Hartlieb Kristina - your dilemma is interesting, especially the comment regarding being a stay at home mom being hard work. My question to you is this - which produces the best and longest lasting rewards? Who remembers what any of us "accomplish" in the work world, versus what lives on beyond our days? If you can - stay home. That little bundle of joy of yours will care more about the time you spend together than anything else.
Katie Matvias Rexrode First (I have to say this) stay@home vs. working is not really a male issue. And I say this with some hesitation because I don't want it to become some feminist discussion. But I do want to make the point that men live their lives without ever having to face the guilt-stricken question ... do I go back to work or stay home? It's easy for them to tell women to stay home because they really don’t understand the full ramifications of that decision. They never have to ask themselves: Do I risk my child’s financial well-being to stay or emotional well-being to go? No one questions or even asks the dad if they will head back to work after the baby is born. It's understood. No one challenges them for going back to work to continue their career path while raising kids. So unless you've had that debate in your head/heart you really can't say much about it with real conviction.
As a working mother of 2.5 kids, I am proud to announce that for me, I know I am a better mom because of it.
I believe if you choose to stay home, being a "mommy" is only a portion of the responsibility. A stay@home mom has to also be the “CEO” of the household. Her role is to call the plumber, pay the bills, make dinner every night, do the laundry, iron, take care of the children’s needs and make sure her house is great shape. As a stay@home mom, she should be involved in the community, go to every field trip, be a den mother … these things all fall under her job description. Do I think that is easy? Certainly not. Is that something I would want to do? The older I get, the more I know it’s not for me. Even if I had the option, I know I would still do something outside of the home.
We were lucky because our mom was the CEO of the house. And she was good at it. She was at every school event, every church event, very active with top volunteer groups, made dinner, packed our lunches, did the household (and business) bookwork, quizzed us on spelling, made sure Dad always had what he needed for work and lived up to her job expectations fully. She showed us what it means to be hard-working and to complete projects and do it right.
I know I am lucky because I work for a company that allows me to stay very active in my kids life. I was the JR. Achievements mom and in the classroom all the time. I went to every party and Joe was able to attend more events than any other dad. Joe’s schedule (when he’s not traveling) allows him to spend every morning with the boys, get them breakfast, dressed and ready for the day and be a part of their sports teams and know the other parents. Our partnership has developed into one that I know I am really lucky to have … one of us is always doing laundry, dinner and homework depending on whoever is home. It falls on both of us equally, as we are both equally out of the home. We split the household. Just as we split bringing in income.
As you decide what you want to do/be for the rest of your life, you need to be honest with yourself. If to you, working outside of the home helps you to be a better person (and therefore a better mom) then go back to work. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. If you can look at the responsibilities of the stay@home mom and know it is your destiny, then stay@home. It’s your decision and no one else’s. And no matter what people say from both sides, one is not better than the other. It’s OK to make the decision for yourself because in the end your kids will grow up. And you will want to look back and be happy with your decision. If you’re not, it will be too late.
Read this blog from the NYTimes http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/10/counting-cuddles/ . A study was completed in Australia that talked about how much “cuddle time” kids of working parents and stay@home parents get. You may be surprised at its findings.
Or try this book: http://www.amazon.com/Feminine-Mistake-Are-Giving-Much/dp/B001PTG5GI/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1279196590&sr=1-1-fkmr0
... to learn more feedback from other women out there tackling the same issues you are now – and most women do every day.
Do I worry that I am not spending enough time with my kids? Certainly. Some days do I wish that I could stay home with them and do mommy-stuff? I would be lying if I said I didn’t. But I also feel really good when I accomplish a huge project that helps hundreds of people, and grows business. And I get “thank yous” from people I am really impacting. And when I get home I am excited to see my kids every night; I think it’s better for everyone. My time with my kids is precious and I really try to fill it with fun things, lots of talking and mucho cuddling. I don’t take that time for granted. I really believe they like the time they are away from us too … it’s taught them to be flexible and great, independent people. They are always up for anything and I couldn’t be happier for how they are turning out.
And I am raising my boys to know that their wives may stay@home or may work but either way, it’s what’s best both emotionally and financially. And when my daughter arrives, I hope my decisions will help her never face the guilt/internal debate … she can work or she can stay home … whatever is best for her. And I know either way, you will do that for Molly.
So, Stina decided to post the question on facebook. It brought 13 comments (two from me) and sparked an interesting conversation.
It's pretty important subject for women my age and when I read some of the comments I couldn't help myself but say how I feel (big surprise). Apparently I scared off some though because the comments end after mine! Hopefully someday my kids will read this and understand where I was coming from.
Facebook:
Kristina Matvias Furst Working mom or stay-at-home mom? What am I to do/be?
Lauren Ann Victor Isn't being a stay-at-home mom hard work?? :)
Anne Timmers stay at home for sure!!
Katie Matvias Rexrode The good news is whatever you decide you can always change your mind.
Philip Denton Stay at home!
Ryan Buccafurri Part time is the best of both worlds
Kristina Matvias Furst Hm... part time isn't an option, at least not one that is on the table at this moment in time. The offer on the table is at least 50 hours a week and travel and I have no family nearby to help out. However, as Lauren said, being a stay-at-home mom is a lot of work, too - it is a full time job for sure, you just get paid in baby smiles, giggles and hugs (and spit up) not $$.
Jennifer Rose Sutphen I was in a situation similare to yours and stay at home was a much better decision for our family. If u have any questions, give me a call.
Rebecca Abramson Wow...tough decision. Let us know what you decide!
Brighid Horn Matvias Call me if you need to talk about it!
Tricia Craner Villamil Sounds like stay at home if it works out financially for you.
Katie Matvias Rexrode You don't know the # of hours or the travel. You are assuming based on what one person told you. You should ask.
Terry Hartlieb Kristina - your dilemma is interesting, especially the comment regarding being a stay at home mom being hard work. My question to you is this - which produces the best and longest lasting rewards? Who remembers what any of us "accomplish" in the work world, versus what lives on beyond our days? If you can - stay home. That little bundle of joy of yours will care more about the time you spend together than anything else.
Katie Matvias Rexrode First (I have to say this) stay@home vs. working is not really a male issue. And I say this with some hesitation because I don't want it to become some feminist discussion. But I do want to make the point that men live their lives without ever having to face the guilt-stricken question ... do I go back to work or stay home? It's easy for them to tell women to stay home because they really don’t understand the full ramifications of that decision. They never have to ask themselves: Do I risk my child’s financial well-being to stay or emotional well-being to go? No one questions or even asks the dad if they will head back to work after the baby is born. It's understood. No one challenges them for going back to work to continue their career path while raising kids. So unless you've had that debate in your head/heart you really can't say much about it with real conviction.
As a working mother of 2.5 kids, I am proud to announce that for me, I know I am a better mom because of it.
I believe if you choose to stay home, being a "mommy" is only a portion of the responsibility. A stay@home mom has to also be the “CEO” of the household. Her role is to call the plumber, pay the bills, make dinner every night, do the laundry, iron, take care of the children’s needs and make sure her house is great shape. As a stay@home mom, she should be involved in the community, go to every field trip, be a den mother … these things all fall under her job description. Do I think that is easy? Certainly not. Is that something I would want to do? The older I get, the more I know it’s not for me. Even if I had the option, I know I would still do something outside of the home.
We were lucky because our mom was the CEO of the house. And she was good at it. She was at every school event, every church event, very active with top volunteer groups, made dinner, packed our lunches, did the household (and business) bookwork, quizzed us on spelling, made sure Dad always had what he needed for work and lived up to her job expectations fully. She showed us what it means to be hard-working and to complete projects and do it right.
I know I am lucky because I work for a company that allows me to stay very active in my kids life. I was the JR. Achievements mom and in the classroom all the time. I went to every party and Joe was able to attend more events than any other dad. Joe’s schedule (when he’s not traveling) allows him to spend every morning with the boys, get them breakfast, dressed and ready for the day and be a part of their sports teams and know the other parents. Our partnership has developed into one that I know I am really lucky to have … one of us is always doing laundry, dinner and homework depending on whoever is home. It falls on both of us equally, as we are both equally out of the home. We split the household. Just as we split bringing in income.
As you decide what you want to do/be for the rest of your life, you need to be honest with yourself. If to you, working outside of the home helps you to be a better person (and therefore a better mom) then go back to work. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. If you can look at the responsibilities of the stay@home mom and know it is your destiny, then stay@home. It’s your decision and no one else’s. And no matter what people say from both sides, one is not better than the other. It’s OK to make the decision for yourself because in the end your kids will grow up. And you will want to look back and be happy with your decision. If you’re not, it will be too late.
Read this blog from the NYTimes http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/10/counting-cuddles/ . A study was completed in Australia that talked about how much “cuddle time” kids of working parents and stay@home parents get. You may be surprised at its findings.
Or try this book: http://www.amazon.com/Feminine-Mistake-Are-Giving-Much/dp/B001PTG5GI/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1279196590&sr=1-1-fkmr0
... to learn more feedback from other women out there tackling the same issues you are now – and most women do every day.
Do I worry that I am not spending enough time with my kids? Certainly. Some days do I wish that I could stay home with them and do mommy-stuff? I would be lying if I said I didn’t. But I also feel really good when I accomplish a huge project that helps hundreds of people, and grows business. And I get “thank yous” from people I am really impacting. And when I get home I am excited to see my kids every night; I think it’s better for everyone. My time with my kids is precious and I really try to fill it with fun things, lots of talking and mucho cuddling. I don’t take that time for granted. I really believe they like the time they are away from us too … it’s taught them to be flexible and great, independent people. They are always up for anything and I couldn’t be happier for how they are turning out.
And I am raising my boys to know that their wives may stay@home or may work but either way, it’s what’s best both emotionally and financially. And when my daughter arrives, I hope my decisions will help her never face the guilt/internal debate … she can work or she can stay home … whatever is best for her. And I know either way, you will do that for Molly.
07 July 2010
158
The family had an awesome 4th of July weekend with a trip to the west side of the state, and the east side.
On Saturday we spent the day on the Sell family farms where the boys rode a horse, pony and donkey. They also got to see baby goats, lambs and dogs. They had a blast. And they rode a tractor ... a big one, not a riding lawnmower.
When they were petting the goats, Farmer Dan (Mary's brother who is amazing!) told the boys that goats don't have upper teeth in the front and said they could put their fingers in her mouth if they wanted.
#1 said: "Why would anyone want to do that?!"
#2 said: "OK!" And proceeded to jam his hand in the baby goat's mouth.
Those are my boys!
Then we headed to Ga and Ma's Sunday afternoon and spent the next two days swimming with cousins. Perfect way to spend a holiday weekend ... first farm animals, then a family swimming bonanza.
28 June 2010
157
The first half of today was spent at the OB/GYN ... blood tests, syrup and a 32 check-up. Seems Baby Girl Rex is measuring to be a 9 lb + baby. Big surprise.
Tomorrow we find out the results. Placing bets that it's diabetes. Anyone?
Tomorrow we find out the results. Placing bets that it's diabetes. Anyone?
25 June 2010
156
I have summer-ized my blog background for now but I need an updated shot of the boys playing in the summer. This will likely be my last change to the blog before the girl arrives and then I will have to come up with a clever name that reflects two boys and a girl. Maybe I will just go with that ...
Today marks week 32 in my pregnancy and those six weeks couldn't come fast enough. Except for the fact that my child remains nameless, her room has not been painted or put together and we have not gotten any baby supplies. Oh yeah, 'cept that.
This week has been a little rough for the girls team. We went to the cardiologist to learn I am severely anemic, which is likely causing my tiredness and inability to walk upstairs (or talk on the phone) without losing my breath -- but hey, at least my heart is still ticking.
I failed the diabetic test so I have to go back Monday for the 4-hour, 4-prick test to make sure I am not actually diabetic but based on how things have turned for us, I am assuming I will be!
I think I have fallen asleep on the couch every night. And then I am too tired to walk upstairs to bed. So I have to gear up in my mind, promising myself it will be more comfortable upstairs. I don't always think it's worth the walk.
BGR continues to kick like mad ... she chose to kick so hard her foot stuck out during a meeting with my boss and he turned slightly green. Literally saw green appear across his face. Apparently boys can't really handle the fact that babies grow inside women.
Brennan took a nap today in underware, refusing to wear a diaper. Now that Freddie is potty trained I thought I would leverage that to get Brennan on target. When I shared the exciting news with the boys last night ...
Jack said: "That's great! We should send him a present!"
Brennan said: "Oh, that's nice." And walked away to build with his LEGOs.
But I left out underware today just in case and Joe said he's doing well with it so let's hope we get this going well before the baby arrives.
Today marks week 32 in my pregnancy and those six weeks couldn't come fast enough. Except for the fact that my child remains nameless, her room has not been painted or put together and we have not gotten any baby supplies. Oh yeah, 'cept that.
This week has been a little rough for the girls team. We went to the cardiologist to learn I am severely anemic, which is likely causing my tiredness and inability to walk upstairs (or talk on the phone) without losing my breath -- but hey, at least my heart is still ticking.
I failed the diabetic test so I have to go back Monday for the 4-hour, 4-prick test to make sure I am not actually diabetic but based on how things have turned for us, I am assuming I will be!
I think I have fallen asleep on the couch every night. And then I am too tired to walk upstairs to bed. So I have to gear up in my mind, promising myself it will be more comfortable upstairs. I don't always think it's worth the walk.
BGR continues to kick like mad ... she chose to kick so hard her foot stuck out during a meeting with my boss and he turned slightly green. Literally saw green appear across his face. Apparently boys can't really handle the fact that babies grow inside women.
Brennan took a nap today in underware, refusing to wear a diaper. Now that Freddie is potty trained I thought I would leverage that to get Brennan on target. When I shared the exciting news with the boys last night ...
Jack said: "That's great! We should send him a present!"
Brennan said: "Oh, that's nice." And walked away to build with his LEGOs.
But I left out underware today just in case and Joe said he's doing well with it so let's hope we get this going well before the baby arrives.
03 June 2010
155
Baby Girl Rex ... June 1, 2010.
After a visit with the ultrasound specialist we found out we are no longer considered high risk. We're happily on track for a big healthy baby come August.
I have been a little worried about my boy B. He has been very clear with me that adding a baby to the mix ... not part of his master plan. In fact, for a while there he was insisting he was the baby. He was no longer interested in being a big boy.
Considering I am about to enter week 29, this had to be corrected.
So, for the last few nights we've focused on the good things about being a big brother and a big boy. We're trying to make it sound inviting. Exciting. Something every boy should strive for ... and considering he's now at least open to discussing names, I am starting to feel like we may have made some headway.
And for as much as Jack has been involved in the arrival of his baby sister, this weekend some of his worries spilled out in the car after his brother had just gone too far.
"Mama! I don't know if I can handle this! I mean two kids ... that's a lot of responsibility!"
"Responsibility?"
"Yes! I mean two babies?! That's so much work!"
"Work? What kind of work are you anticipating?"
"I mean, we'll have to change them and feed them ..."
"Jack. When was the last time you fed or changed your brother?"
A slow smile spread across his face.
"Um, never."
"So, let's just calm down. All you'll need to do is play with her and pay attention to her."
Later that night he let me know he'd actually like feed his sister -- and even change her when she was only wet, but not stinky.
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