122

Jack is on probation this week. After chomping on my leather coach, he's being punished ... I took away TV, Wii and made bedtime an hour early.

I know what you are thinking ... who are you, Joan Crawford? The kid's 4. But that 4-year-old did it to himself. And there were no wire hangers -- or any contact -- involved.

His bite ring on the arm of the love seat is in response to a whopper of a chomp his baby brother left on his arm. And both bites? Awful.

Jack's getting really sick of his baby bugging him and getting away with it. And no matter how much we explain a nearly 18-month old can't really be punished, it doesn't seem to soothe his frustration.

Some time after getting attacked by Brennan's teeth, my Jack retaliated against the only really new piece of furniture in my house. And he didn't bite the arm just once ... nope. Apparently the first bit wasn't good enough. The second one is a doozy. It left a perfectly round mark. It's so defined that my dad could create a mold out of it. Oh yea ... that bad.

... and he's lost his privileges to sit on my coach. You gotta respect it to sit on it.

I think he may have done it when I put Brennan down for a nap. He's not one who has to be reactive. He's really too smart for that. He seems to pocket his anger/frustration and drops his bombs at a later time.

I was sitting on the opposite couch when I noticed the inconsistency in the leather. I couldn't really tell what it was ... but when I discovered a teeth mark with no missing teeth I immediately asked him if he bit the coach.

His answer?
"Yup." (With a "that's right" kind of attitude.) He didn't try to lie about it. He wanted me to know.
"You bit my couch. JACK. You bit my couch. Why did you bite my couch?"
"Because Brennan bit me." (So matter-of-fact.)
"But ... I don't understand ... why bite the couch if your brother bit you?!"
"He didn't even get in trouble. MY arm was bleeeeeding! And he didn't get in trouble! So I was mad. So I bit the couch."
Deep breath. Deep breath. Fingers through hair. The truth was Brennan got a stern talking to including showing him Jack's arm and a firm "no-no!"
"I don't understand! YOU BIT MY COUCH!"
At this point the boy started realizing it may not have been the best idea.
"But you didn't punish Brennan. You always punish me."
"Jack. You are 4. Brennan is 1. There isn't much we can do to Brennan but let me tell you if he bites my coach when he is 4, he will be properly punished."
The thing is ... Brennan has bitten the couch. He really didn't get punished ... obviously. The kid is 1. I knew the second this came out of my mouth Jack would bring this up.
"Brennan did bit the couch! Right here! See? See, Mama?!"

Joe -- of course -- was at a basketball game. And I suddenly put him on my list for it.
This is when I actually walked away for a minute. Jack is only 4. But he and I both know he's too smart for this sort of behavior. I started thinking about how we're thinking about having another baby and crossed that right off my list. Oh, hell no.

I walked back into the family room. Jack looked at me like I was crazy. I probably looked like a crazy person.

"Jack, you will have no TV for a week. TV is a privilege for big boys. You biting the couch is not something a big boy should do."
"Is that a long time?" he asked.
"Seven days."
"Seven days? Big deal. I can do that. That's not even that long."
This really, really irritated me. This is where I started to lop on the punishments.
"Really? Well, if it's not a long time, we may as well say no Wii for seven days."
"Whatever." (Yes, he did say this. And he rolled his eyes. Flash forward to Jack in 13 years. Oh, hell no.)
"Jack. You are making a big mistake with your attitude."
"What's attitude?" (Now, I know he knows this. He was still pushing me.)
"You are not talking nice to me. I want you to go upstairs in your room until you can be nice."

So the boy went to his room. I could hear him sobbing. He was not sobbing because he was in trouble. He was sobbing because he was in his room.
"I don't wannnnnnna be in my rooooooom."
Really, at that point, it was a safer place for him.

Brennan woke up. I brought him down, cleaned him up and waited for Jack to show up.
About 10 more minutes passed and I called him down.
"Jack ... are you ready to be a good boy?"
"No." He yelled back.
Yes, I am serious. He said no. Who is this person? And seriously, what am I going to do when he is a teenager? Drop him off in Troy?!

So I made dinner. This kid was going to bed early and I had to get this started.
"Jack come downstairs for dinner now."
"I am not hungry."
Furious. I was furious at this point.
"Jack. Get your butt down here now to eat dinner."
He flopped on the chair and waited. His brother squealed and yelled and tried to get him going. He smartly sat there quietly.

Dinner went fairly smoothly for him. It took him more than an hour to eat his chicken but this is not anything new. Things had calmed down so I thought I would try again.
"Jack, why would you bit my couch?"
"Because I was mad Brennan bit me."
"But Jack. That is my couch. It was expensive. Why would you ruin my couch?"
"Who cares Mama. Why don't you just buy a new one?"
"Because it costs so much money. We can't just buy another one!"
"It's not a big deal, Mama. Just get it fixed."
"JACK. (I am starting to get really angry again and I actually teared up.) Somethings can't be fixed."
"It's not a big deal." He saw that I was crying and stared at me.
"No, Jack. You are wrong. It is a big deal. We bought the couch when we bought our house. We like the couch and we want to keep it."
By this point I was so mad the tears flowed a bit.
"Whatever,'' and then he giggled. Yes. I said giggled.
WARNING! WARNING! BOILING POINT.
"Well Jack! If you don't care about the couch or me, you can't sit on it. In fact I don't want you touching my furniture. You can sit in your Spider-Man chair. That is it!"
"Seriously?" He looked shocked.
"Yes. And it's time for bed."
"I don't want to go to bed."
"Seriously Jack?! After all this you are going to fight me on bed. I don't care. Upstairs, teeth brushed I will be there shortly for prayers."
Oh yea, he hated me that day. And I wasn't a big fan of him either.

121

Tonight at dinner Brennan was being super annoying. We were all admittedly annoyed. He was shrieking and yelling and throwing things just to be ... well ... a you know.

No matter what Joe offered him for dinner, he rejected it. We all knew he was hungry, he just well ... felt like being ... a you know.

Finally Joe gave him an Oreo with the hope that once he was concentrating on that, we could slip in something slightly more nutritious.

But in between bites and sucking off frosting he continue to squeal. And then when we told Jack he couldn't have a cookie until his dinner was done.

"Sometimes I wish we only had one boy."

Joe and I quickly looked at each other.

"You mean if we have another baby, you want it to be a boy?" I asked quickly.

"No,'' he said. "I wish I was the only boy."

"Jack!" We both hushed.

Joe took the typical dad route.

"We don't say that! He's your brother!"

I took the middle sister approach.

"Jack, I know sometimes it's hard to be a brother but it's something you have to do. Everyone has fights with their brothers but it doesn't mean you don't want him here ... or you don't love him.''

"Yeah, Jack. Look at him! He's your best friend,'' Joe said.

"Well, I have friends at school who are more fun!" he said, grumbling.

"He's not always fun now but someday you will have tons of fun,'' I said. "I promise." (Instant flash in my head to fraternity parties and nights at the college bars.) "More fun than you can imagine."

120

Before he stops doing it we must get a video and still shot of Brennan kissing. He's outta control with those lips. In fact he is so cute when he doesn't that I fear we've burned him out because all of the sudden he's giving us his cheek and then pressing it tightly onto our lips.

Jack had his first official play date Monday and we were all excited for him. And when he got home I expected a long, detailed play-by-play ... and got nothin'. Is he already at the point where he doesn't want to talk about what he does with his friends with his mother?

Oh, this is not going to work. Apparently he has not yet realized the fact that his parents are reporters. Follow up questioning is more natural to me than breathing.

119

Brennan woke up with the scary inward wheeze that flashed me back to Jack's days in the teeny-tiny hospital gown and oxygen treatments. We immediately knew he needed to see a doctor. Weekends around here in rural Michigan leave us the option of the kids ER at Sparrow. I refuse to take my kids to Redi-Care/Urgent Care crap-o-la places that diagnose incorrectly and over-subscribe antibiotics.

So Jack and I headed to Sunday school and church and Joe took the baby to the ER. (Jack didn't want to miss his class and there was no way I was going to take two kids under 5 to the hospital if I didn't have to ...)

Apparently when the pair entered the hospital Brennan was his cute, flirty, edible self. Gone was the crazy breathing and scary cough and clingy behavior. Instead he flirted with nurses and cooed and laughed and was the agreeable perfect baby he usually is ... and Joe said seeing him in the teeny-tiny hospital gown with his bright red socks was actually pretty cute. And Joe only had praise for the facility and its staff.

The good news: no on RSV and the flu. The bad news: ear infection/croup.

And while croup and the ears are rough, with all of Jack's sicknesses over the years these seem mild. I will be curious to see how Brennan gets nailed in preschool after being childcare facility free for his entire life. That exposure should likely rock his protected immune system ... this sickness is his first recordable bout with croup. His brother had been sick fist fulls by this time.

It just confirms I will get him in a pre-pre program by 3 if only to help his immune system adjust well before kindergarten and "real" school.

Then when they got back, Joe and I had to head to MSU to tackle some of my own ailments. Luckily we have the Darnells to step in and help with the kids on crazy days like today ... and soon after we got home, Tera had B high-fiving. Fantastic -- especially for a sicky.

118

The boys and Grandma Rex went to K-zoo to visit with family and go to a Portage Central game. They left when I was still at work and were home very late ... so late that Jack crawled up the stairs and straight into bed.

Tonight was the first time I really got the debrief on the trip.

He went into great detail about his second cousins ... Carly and Carly's brother who I had to remind him over and over was Evan at which he would say ... yeah, Evan, I know that.

Funny quips ...

On Casey ... the senior in high school playing
"Mama! When did he become a man?! I mean he's huge and old. How did that happen so fast? He ... is ... a man!"

On Evan's friends ...
"His friends were super fun. We made jokes. But one of his friends is dumb."
"Dumb?"
"Yeah the boy in the blue shirt ... really dumb."
"Because he was mean to you?"
"No. He was just dumb. He didn't get any of the jokes."

On Carly ...
"She's got long hair now and she looks like a man."
"A man?"
"Yeah. She's tall. I started at her shoes and looked up and up and up. She's a man!"
"Do you mean woman?"
"Yeah, that's what I said."