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Jack is on probation this week. After chomping on my leather coach, he's being punished ... I took away TV, Wii and made bedtime an hour early.

I know what you are thinking ... who are you, Joan Crawford? The kid's 4. But that 4-year-old did it to himself. And there were no wire hangers -- or any contact -- involved.

His bite ring on the arm of the love seat is in response to a whopper of a chomp his baby brother left on his arm. And both bites? Awful.

Jack's getting really sick of his baby bugging him and getting away with it. And no matter how much we explain a nearly 18-month old can't really be punished, it doesn't seem to soothe his frustration.

Some time after getting attacked by Brennan's teeth, my Jack retaliated against the only really new piece of furniture in my house. And he didn't bite the arm just once ... nope. Apparently the first bit wasn't good enough. The second one is a doozy. It left a perfectly round mark. It's so defined that my dad could create a mold out of it. Oh yea ... that bad.

... and he's lost his privileges to sit on my coach. You gotta respect it to sit on it.

I think he may have done it when I put Brennan down for a nap. He's not one who has to be reactive. He's really too smart for that. He seems to pocket his anger/frustration and drops his bombs at a later time.

I was sitting on the opposite couch when I noticed the inconsistency in the leather. I couldn't really tell what it was ... but when I discovered a teeth mark with no missing teeth I immediately asked him if he bit the coach.

His answer?
"Yup." (With a "that's right" kind of attitude.) He didn't try to lie about it. He wanted me to know.
"You bit my couch. JACK. You bit my couch. Why did you bite my couch?"
"Because Brennan bit me." (So matter-of-fact.)
"But ... I don't understand ... why bite the couch if your brother bit you?!"
"He didn't even get in trouble. MY arm was bleeeeeding! And he didn't get in trouble! So I was mad. So I bit the couch."
Deep breath. Deep breath. Fingers through hair. The truth was Brennan got a stern talking to including showing him Jack's arm and a firm "no-no!"
"I don't understand! YOU BIT MY COUCH!"
At this point the boy started realizing it may not have been the best idea.
"But you didn't punish Brennan. You always punish me."
"Jack. You are 4. Brennan is 1. There isn't much we can do to Brennan but let me tell you if he bites my coach when he is 4, he will be properly punished."
The thing is ... Brennan has bitten the couch. He really didn't get punished ... obviously. The kid is 1. I knew the second this came out of my mouth Jack would bring this up.
"Brennan did bit the couch! Right here! See? See, Mama?!"

Joe -- of course -- was at a basketball game. And I suddenly put him on my list for it.
This is when I actually walked away for a minute. Jack is only 4. But he and I both know he's too smart for this sort of behavior. I started thinking about how we're thinking about having another baby and crossed that right off my list. Oh, hell no.

I walked back into the family room. Jack looked at me like I was crazy. I probably looked like a crazy person.

"Jack, you will have no TV for a week. TV is a privilege for big boys. You biting the couch is not something a big boy should do."
"Is that a long time?" he asked.
"Seven days."
"Seven days? Big deal. I can do that. That's not even that long."
This really, really irritated me. This is where I started to lop on the punishments.
"Really? Well, if it's not a long time, we may as well say no Wii for seven days."
"Whatever." (Yes, he did say this. And he rolled his eyes. Flash forward to Jack in 13 years. Oh, hell no.)
"Jack. You are making a big mistake with your attitude."
"What's attitude?" (Now, I know he knows this. He was still pushing me.)
"You are not talking nice to me. I want you to go upstairs in your room until you can be nice."

So the boy went to his room. I could hear him sobbing. He was not sobbing because he was in trouble. He was sobbing because he was in his room.
"I don't wannnnnnna be in my rooooooom."
Really, at that point, it was a safer place for him.

Brennan woke up. I brought him down, cleaned him up and waited for Jack to show up.
About 10 more minutes passed and I called him down.
"Jack ... are you ready to be a good boy?"
"No." He yelled back.
Yes, I am serious. He said no. Who is this person? And seriously, what am I going to do when he is a teenager? Drop him off in Troy?!

So I made dinner. This kid was going to bed early and I had to get this started.
"Jack come downstairs for dinner now."
"I am not hungry."
Furious. I was furious at this point.
"Jack. Get your butt down here now to eat dinner."
He flopped on the chair and waited. His brother squealed and yelled and tried to get him going. He smartly sat there quietly.

Dinner went fairly smoothly for him. It took him more than an hour to eat his chicken but this is not anything new. Things had calmed down so I thought I would try again.
"Jack, why would you bit my couch?"
"Because I was mad Brennan bit me."
"But Jack. That is my couch. It was expensive. Why would you ruin my couch?"
"Who cares Mama. Why don't you just buy a new one?"
"Because it costs so much money. We can't just buy another one!"
"It's not a big deal, Mama. Just get it fixed."
"JACK. (I am starting to get really angry again and I actually teared up.) Somethings can't be fixed."
"It's not a big deal." He saw that I was crying and stared at me.
"No, Jack. You are wrong. It is a big deal. We bought the couch when we bought our house. We like the couch and we want to keep it."
By this point I was so mad the tears flowed a bit.
"Whatever,'' and then he giggled. Yes. I said giggled.
WARNING! WARNING! BOILING POINT.
"Well Jack! If you don't care about the couch or me, you can't sit on it. In fact I don't want you touching my furniture. You can sit in your Spider-Man chair. That is it!"
"Seriously?" He looked shocked.
"Yes. And it's time for bed."
"I don't want to go to bed."
"Seriously Jack?! After all this you are going to fight me on bed. I don't care. Upstairs, teeth brushed I will be there shortly for prayers."
Oh yea, he hated me that day. And I wasn't a big fan of him either.